Crying in H-Mart? Well, me too Pt. 2
Hi everyone! This is the second (and last!) part of the Crying in H-Mart posts. I want to preface this by saying: 1. if you haven’t already, I totally recommend checking out the last post, and 2. you don’t have to read the memoir to respond or look through this post. Most of my published pieces are meant for everyone, meaning that those who have read/seen these pieces can understand the context clearly but those who haven’t can still answer my questions (you can just scroll to the bolded lines) based off of their personal experiences and general responses to certain themes.
Anyways, my last post was focused on parental influence on many Asian American youths; this post is more about food because this is a memoir about H-Mart afterall.
This theme is rather obvious since the title literally says crying in H-MART, one of the most popular Asian market chains in America, but I liked how Zauner took food and used it as a metaphorical link between her and her passed mom. Food is everywhere, and it usually holds a lot of importance in most cultures spanning beyond the Asian ones.
In many cases, food is almost the face of different culture since when people introduce their heritages, they usually start with the most famous foods: Japan and sushi, Italy and pizza, America and burgers, and the list goes one. In the case of Zauner, food is the most immediate link to her Korean heritage because she grows up in a predominantly white neighborhood, didn’t have other Korean friends outside of the few acquintances made in Korean church, and never lived in Korea. Thus, food is that one source of cultural comfort, and at times, it seems like it’s one of the few things she holds sacred. Many of her other passions and hobbies intertwine with stereotypical American values: her rebellious love for music in comparison to the quiter Asian stereotype, her messiness from her white dad differs from her perfectionist mom, etc. Only with food does she try to keep it 100% authentic, mentioning food in the memoir by their authentic Korean names, which proves a comfort that only comes from growing up with these dishes, and she also never mentions fusion foods. By keeping her food safe from “contamination,” she keeps this almost pure relationship with her Korean heritage.
Has anyone else ever experienced something similar? Where they had a specific relationship with food? Or even any other part of their heritage.
I, for one, don’t have as specific a dynamic with food as Zauner did in the memoir, and it shows through my love for obviously inauthentic Chinese food. But at the same time, I keep my love for Chinese American food and Chinese food seperate; for example, I almost never call Panda Express “Chinese food,” titling them specifically as Chinese American food. That’s not to say orange chicken and walnut shrimp aren’t delicious. It’s just that I’m particular about my relationship with my cultural food, and I want to make it clear that these genuinely authentic dishes are what truly represent my background and nothing else.
Beyond just being the focus and cultural center for a lot of places, food is also something people bond over, eat over, and share a lot of cherished memories together, and it shows in Zauner’s work. One of my favorite quotes about food comes from when Zauner suddenly wants to learn to cook for her ill mother. She writes, “That food was an unspoken language between us, that it had come to symbolize our return to each other, our bonding, our common ground.” Despite her own slight clumsiness in the kitchen, Zauner still loves food and treats it like the bridge between her and her mom’s frequent conflicts. I interpreted a lot of this dynamic as one of the rare times when Zauner can fully let her guard down in front of her mom, even reverting to a more childish mother-daughter relationship rather than a more mature one that is expected with adulthood. For example, I loved this specific scene where Zauner’s mom calls a Korean restaurant ahead of time and orders for Zauner because, like many other moms, she knows what her daughter likes to eat and already knows what to order ahead of time. Moments like these, moments with food, are the most seemingly trivial yet simultaneously the most comforting.
This question requires less thinking than many of my other ones, but I think it’ll be very cute. What’s some of your favorite memories over food? It can be with family, friends, or by yourself.
I, for one, love eating out with my mom. My dad and two siblings rarely enjoy going outside to eat, for they usually decide on home-food or ordering some food out. My mom and I, on the other hand, bond frequently over trying out new and exciting dishes from all around the world. Yes, I do enjoy the food, the thrill of trying a restaurant hidden in a small mall or driving an hour more than usual to eat something famous, but I also love how food can become an immediate bond for my mom and I.
On the topic of food, I totally recommend people check out my Fish Cheek’s post from a month ago. It also discusses food but from a more personal and individual lens.
I wish I could talk more, discussing topics about not feeling Asian enough at times or the struggles of not being the perfect child, but I wanted to look at this memoir from more metaphorical lenses: parental influence and food.
I hope everyone enjoyed the past 2 posts, and I definitely recommend checking this memoir out!